So I was thinking this morning, what does God want me to write this morning? The answer immediately came to me. God is stirring within me to write a message to women on being still. One of my dear friends is a big fan of this, and she sure knows this is not my natural proclivity. Her reminders to me to be still are sweet and gracious. This does not come naturally to me. I am not sure that being still comes naturally to anyone. Being still likely comes more natural to some women and men than others.
I call this time I am in life right now the woodshed. I wonder what God thinks of that. Maybe He is laughing in joy because He knows that I am being formed and am learning what He wants me to know right now for other times and circumstances in life. Where I am frustrated that nothing (job, life moving forward) is happening, God is forming my heart and character.
God has been so gracious to me in this time. I am so impatient. I have looked for a job for a year with what I would say is no success. Success for me in this season is defined by having a job, which I do not possess at this moment in time. I want a job so badly. More than anything. I want to be busy, not still. I have applied for hundreds of positions and have had oodles and noodles of interviews. No doors have opened to me.
God is wildly gracious. God is good. God is so patient and kind to me.
I don’t want to be still. My heart is fickle and stubborn. I want to be positive, but it is hard. I am so not good at waiting. Being busy is where I feel most comfortable. I like being busy, I like having tons to do. I am not good with not much happening.
Finally, being still has taught me to wait. The Lord is revealing to me that I have so much to learn in this area.
This is my prayer: Lord, teach me to put you first. Teach my heart to love you more than a job. Teach my heart to align with our love and mercy and grace. Amen.